Back to School

    A few months ago I applied for a ministry opportunity to work with women who have been forced into prostitution and children who are trafficked right here in America.  Human trafficking is something that I have been learning more and more about.  The more I learn, the more I am saddened. But also I realized how desperately these people need to hear the Gospel.  Who understands the value of our freedom in Christ like those who have been denied even basic freedoms; where to work or for how long, who they will have sex with, being forced to strip for men, etc. 

    Sometimes I will catch myself grumbling about how tired I am of my job.  Then, I remember what a blessing my job is.  It’s a Christian environment where I’m surrounded by cultural Christians (those who say they are Christians because we live in the south and going to church and saying you are a Christian is just what you’ve done all your life) and some who have really surrendered their lives over to Christ and the joy that is found in HIM. It is a wonderful opportunity to minister to young believers and to abolish the misconception of the “Christian American Dream”

    I was filling out the application, feeling pretty confident in my pursuit of this opportunity, when it asked me what my degree was in.  I had to leave the space blank because I didn’t finish my degree.  Sadly I wasn’t even able to submit the application because a degree was required.  I was slightly discouraged by this but not completely shut down.  I looked in to many other opportunities with well established organizations, but it was the same problem over and over. 
    This was very frustrating to me because a degree was not really needed to do what I wanted to do. As I voiced my complaint to many of my friends and other solid Christians in my church, they all said this similar answer. “You don’t need a degree to DO the ministry, but the degree says so much more than what you have been trained to do.  It shows that you are educated and disciplined.  These are things that will give you a reason to be heard by the people you are trying to minister to.  Also, many countries that need the Gospel most will not give you a visa unless you have a degree because it shows you can bring good to their country.”  After hearing this over and over I began to pray about going back to school and finally finishing my degree. 
    That was about 5 months ago, right before the Spring semester was over.  I wanted to go back to school as soon as possible, but all of the admissions and scholarship application deadlines had already passed.  So I finally came to the decision to apply for the Spring 2013 semester at University of Arkansas.  This is the nearest 4yr school to where I live. 
    Filling out the application felt like I was walking backwards.  I have learned how to live as an adult in the workforce and now I’m applying to be a student again.  So many doubtful thoughts were waring in my mind.  Can I juggle school and still work enough to pay bills?  Can I afford to go back to school?  How do I find and apply for the right scholarships?  So many doubts, but ultimately outweighed by the remembrance of all those who need to hear the Gospel and the Governments that want to see a degree.  Ultimately the remembrance that my God is able to solve and plan and finance all that I can imagine and more for His glory!
SUBMIT
Hitting that button was like exhaling after unintentionally holding my breath for a long time.  There it went.  Off to be reviewed and accepted or rejected.  Then came the waiting.  I received many emails telling me about how I can track my application.  How I can apply for some scholarships.  A variety of different things.  It seemed like it was going to take forever for my application to finally be processed.  Then, FINALLY, I received another email.  When I opened it I expected it to say something else about financial aid or “get to know us”  as I had received many of them before.  But when I opened it it said,
I’ve been in a state of stunned/excited/nervous ever since.  I can hardly believe it’s actually happening!  But, Lord willing, I will be learning French and Spanish come Spring, and on my way to a degree that will not only give me a platform for missions, but will also equip me for missions. 
    I’m very excited to share all of this with you.  It has been a long time since I last updated you, I know.  But rest assured, I am still living as a missionary put on hold in her own home.  So my “go” in the great commission is to Go to my Jerusalem first and for as long as He keeps me here.

Adventures with my Camera

I recently purchased a new DSLR camera.  A real one! I've always been into photography but just never really had the chance to pursue it.  Well here's my chance.  the first couple days I had it I went down to Dixon St. here in Fayetteville.  It's kinda like a Main St.  My goal was to take pictures of every one I saw!  which may not have been the best plan of attack.  here's a picture from that outing.

Most of my pictures that day were just of people walking, nothing spectacular, but I liked the sight of this professor riding his bike down the road.  Wearing stripes, no less. 

My camera purchase was just in time for Easter as well.  I went home this past weekend to visit my family, and finally take some pictures that I've always wanted to take.  There's this town near by that has an Old City!  So I went to Jefferson City's Old City to take some pictures of these gorgeous old buildings.  There's something about an old building that I love.  There's so much life that has happened in it.  There must have been!  Here's a few of my favorites from that outing.

My next big adventure was playing with Lucas, my nephew, at the park.  I haven't seen him in a while and I was afraid he might not be all that excited to see me.  He's only 3 and I only see him around the holidays.  But when I pulled into my brother's driveway I saw these two heads peeking out the window.  One was a friend of ours who lives with my brother, and one was Lucas yelling, "Aunt Ruby! Aunt Ruby!"  it made my heart leap with happiness.  I love to spoil my little nephew with trips to the park almost every time I see him.  He has grown so much since the last time I took him.  Last time I had to stay with him everywhere he went to make sure he didn't fall of something and get hurt.  But this time I could barely keep up with him to take his picture!  I think you will agree that he is the cutest little boy you've ever seen!  Or maybe I'm just a little bias.

I think it's safe to say that I love this little boy!!!!
I wont give you quite as big a taste of my next adventure, but I do have a couple favorites from it.  I went to Gatlinburg while I was home and sat in the Village to take pictures of all the people.  The village is a wonderful little area with lots of shops just off the road.  it has a beautiful fountain and lots of benches for people to sit and relax.  It's a great area to just people watch.  there are so many different people from all over the world that come into this town to experience the mountains and shopping combined.  :-)

I feel like she came out of an old movie and
ended up in Gatlinburg.

This woman was my favorite of the day.
I can just see the life she's lived in every line on her face.
Like a story waiting for someone to ask it to be told.

And Finally my last adventure since having my camera.  THE SHOTGUN!!
My dad got a shotgun for Christmas and hadn't shot it yet.  So we walked down the mountain to our property we own down there and set up some targets to shoot at.  This was my first time ever shooting a shotgun.  Sadly there's no picture of me shooting it, but my daddy makes a good subject for a picture.  He is the epitome of a mountain man.

Family Dinner

 

Tonight, my friends and I decided that we wanted to have dinner Thai/Chinese/Peruvian/Malawi style.  

All of us have been to these other cultures and one thing they all have in common is that they eat as a group.  there's never really the mentality of "I'll eat by myself tonight."  If that is the case, then it is not the norm.

There is this fabulous Chinese place right down the road from where I live and Stephanie decided we were gonna eat take out from there tonight.  one thing led to another and before we knew it we were on the floor around the table eating from these boxes with chop sticks.  

I got to thinking while I was sitting there that this is what dinners will be like when I finally get overseas!  I got all excited just thinking about it.  I remembered when I was in W. Africa and dinner was a community thing.  They made this huge meal and it seamed like the whole village ate from it (at least the ones who wanted to associate with the Christians).  Then I thought of a picture I saw of a family sitting on a blanket on the ground eating from a large dish in the middle of the blanket.  I can't wait to be back in the atmosphere where meal time is a time to spend with people.  Not to just satisfy this never ending hunger.

This is one thing I look forward to, and wish America would practice more often. 

There is so much I am looking forward to that I forget to LIVE where I am living.  The Lord has me where He wants me.  And He will send me where He has prepared a way for me.  But I have to remember that the Gospel is a lifestyle.  Worship is a lifestyle.  An overflow, a light that is felt and seen by those around us.  I heard a wonderful quote today about being the light.  Light is best seen when shown into darkness.

My calling is to go to the darkness (wherever that may be.  Arkansas or Africa or Greece) and shine the light that is within me, JESUS.  He is the answer to everything.  

Thank you Lord for friends and the blessing of relationships.  We Praise you for even this small picture of the Gospel and how the body of Christ can be brought together in our most basic of needs.

Luca's Birthday call

The names kids give their relatives could be published into a hysterical book.  "Top 100 funny names for relatives."  Kinda wordy but it captures the character.  

I called my nephew for his birthday yesterday, Valentine's Day.  When my brother handed him the phone I heard Jesse, my brother, tell Lucas that it was Aunt Ruby on the phone.  my heart leaped as he called me my secret nickname and said hello.  I asked him if it was his birthday and he basically repeated my words back to me as his answer.  So I told him Happy Birthday!!!  He just said, in the most adorable 3yr voice "Ok."  hands the phone back to my brother and says "It's your turn, daddy."

  

PREACIOUS!!!!

I love my family and getting to talk to them and hear their voices.  seeing faces and hearing voices fill a part of me that a simple message or text just doesn't do.

So happy, late, Valentines Day.  

Here's to all kinds of love!
Especially that of the Father's!

Week One of my "grown up budget"

It was one of those moments when you set out to do something completely unrelated to what was intended.  I sat down at my computer to look at a file and accidentally opened the wrong program.  Numbers, which is like Excel for Macs, opened and there were all these templates to choose from.  I saw a section that was called "Personal Finance" and I thought to myself in an amused kind of way, "I have no personal finance."  then it just hit me! like a flash of maturity that came over me.  I sat down and made a budget.  I really detailed budget that doesn't allow for any unnecessary spending.  so far I have kept to it pretty well.  week one was an overall success.  I did have to allow for some unexpected expenses in one category and it's a good thing too. 

This week I came down with an awful cold that completely knocked me off my feet.  And wouldn't you know, we didn't have a drop of cold medicine in the entire apartment. so I had to go buy some.  It's not as cheap as I was expecting.  I guess it's been a while since I've had to buy cold medicine.

I had gotten on my computer just to look at something and then before I knew it I was mapping out the next month, financially.  Even before I made this budget I've realized that I need to be more mature about things.  It's time to be an adult (even though I still feel like a kid)  

 

I RUN FOR PARUL

Sitting in a room full of friends talking about a half marathon isn't exactly my idea of a Sunday night small group, but we're no ordinary group of friends.  We are all training to run a half marathon for a girl named Parul. (a fake name that represents a very real girl.)  There is an organization that I've been learning about called  As Our Own. It's an organization that rescues girls out of sex trafficking, and adopts them.  They give them a life and a family that they couldn't have had otherwise.  

Most of the stories I read are about how the girls that they've rescued were born in brothels and their mothers were trying to find a better option for their daughters.  It is moving to read about the desperation that these women feel.  They want so badly to escape, but know that it is nearly impossible for them.  But they know they can save their children before it's to late.

Then there are the other stories that make you want to vomit because of the horrendous nature of how these childhoods were stolen from the most unsuspecting girls.  A couple of girls who just went to get a snack, but were drugged, relocated 1,000s of miles away from home, and initiated with the cruelest of methods.  I feel a righteous anger against those who torture and use these girls for their bodies.  My heart aches for the ones who can't get out, or don't want to because they don't know any other way of life. But then I feel great joy when I hear the stories about those who have been rescued.

This is why I have come to a decision.  I want to preface this by saying that I may not make it to my goal.  I am going to try and run this half marathon in honor of Parul all the money that we raise will go directly to As Our Own and the ministry projects they have to help their girls gain an education.  And have the Gospel poured over them so that they can find their true salvation in Christ.  The stories about how they've been rescued are wonderful to hear, but the stories about how they've trusted their new found life to Christ is even more glorious.

I wanted to post a couple links to some movies that 

As Our Own has on their website.  one about why I want to run, and one that shows how many girls end up in sex trafficking.

SEEMA

WHY I RUN

If you would like to sponsor me and help support As Our Own's ministry you can go to my race page.  There you can read Parul's story and learn a little more about As Our Own.

Oh The Places I Have Been

I thought I might reminisce about the places the God has taken me in the past few years. 

First was Mexico. But I don't have a picture for that.  It was all the seniors in our youth group.  It was a blast.  We stayed at the all expense paid resort.  They servers kept trying to give us alcohol.  I think we may have accidentally had some.  It was so relaxing, and a ton of fun.  It was also the only time I left the country and it wasn't a mission trip. (not counting when we went to Canada to visit my mom's peoples)

And then there was FRANCE, of which I have many pictures.  So here are just a few

Notre Dame Cathedral

Me at the Eiffel Tower

I went to France on a choir tour in 2008.  We spent 3 days in Paris and then 4 days in Nice and anywhere we could drive to within the day.  It was a jam packed tour of "let's see everything we possibly can and then sing."  We sang in some of the most beautiful cathedrals.  The sound was mesmerizing.  They had to sit us all down before our first performance just to make sure that we wouldn't lose focus during the performance.  

Next came Sierra Leone, West Africa!

This was my first overseas Mission trip.  But wasn't going to be the last.  while I was there I got to teach the girls in the village how to play soccer.  I gave my testimony.  We walk a ton! Mainly because the van kept breaking down. :)  In the picture above we are standing on the side of the road because the radiator in the other vehicle cracked.  Apparently it's a common thing.  But it gave us some extra time to get to know our African teammates.  The African girl standing right next to me is Katie.  I got pretty close with her even though she was only with us for a couple days.  We still keep in contact and everything. 

And of course we had to stop in London on the way home for two days.

I couldn't believe it when they told us that staying in London for two days would actually make the trip $500 cheaper.  of course we jumped on that.  we mostly did sight seeing and touristy things that didn't cost any money.  most of us didn't really have any more money with us excet for food and a couple souveniers.

Next was Haiti.  This trip came and went quicker than the time I knew I would go.  My college pastor asked me if I would seriously consider going on the trip if they helped out a bit.  I told him all my focus was on support raising for Thailand.  But by God's sovereignty in my life and working out some little details, I ended up in Haiti for spring break.  We worked with some churches there.  We taught the kids some fun songs and bible stories.  Then played soccer with them.  I would post some pics, but I have a video of my Haiti experience already on the blog.  You should check that out. 

 

And then, finally, was Thailand.  I know there's already a few pictures from there, but I thought I'd put up a few more. 

The two things I really wanted to do before I left was go to the zoo, and do Flight of the Gibbon.  It's a zip lining course through the jungle.  it was SO MUCH FUN.  I didn't get a chance to go to the zoo, but they had a nice little cardboard cut out scene at the air port. So we decided to take a picture in front of it with some of my friends.  So then the trip was (Kinda) complete. 

Well there we go.  all my overseas trips put into one post.  Enjoy

Pondering of Today.

I'm happy to day that we are starting our study on Hebrews 11.  Our church has been studying Hebrews for about a year now, and we are finally to chapter 11.  I has been so........ enlightening and challenging.  The writer of Hebrews made it a strong point to show that we are not saved by anything we do.  Christ is the priest and the sacrifice.  He is the Ruler of the nations and we share His inheritance!  But why do we get to share anything or be saved by this Christ.  Because God is love.  His gifts are many, and worth more than anything on Earth.  Gifts like salvation, fellowship with the Father, and our Faith.  I've enjoyed being reminded today that my Faith is not my own.  Just like after becoming a believer we are continually being sanctified-not that our works through the sanctification process are credited to us for any worth except for us to grow closer to Christ- our faith is a gift given to us by God that will grow stronger as we grow weaker in ourselves and stronger in Christ.  Faith produces works that glorify God, but none of those things we do because of our faith will earn us anything.  All we have are gifts from the Lord.

Breathing Easy Now.

I looked up the word "home" today.  I was hoping to find some inspirational definition that we've forgotten about, but I found the opposite.  All of the definitions spoke about the physical nature of what a home is, but none of them said anything about the emotion behind "home"  Home is a place where you live, sure, but when you really feel like you're home....  It's so much more than a place.  it's the people, the atmosphere, the things in the community.  "Home is where the heart is."  I guess that's an overused cheesy phrase but it holds true.  Home is when you are right where God wants you.  I don't think there's a better feeling than knowing you are where you are supposed to be.  And right now, I'm supposed to be in Fayetteville, AR.  Waiting for God's timing and direction on my life.

So I'm finally home and have been getting readjusted this past week.  My first few days I was spending time with family in TN.  I have missed them enormously!  I got to visit with my amazing Grandmother!  She is so amazing.  She's got the best personality.  So independent but still very dependent on the Lord.  If I could pick someone to be my hero here on Earth, it'd be her.  She has the most amazing stories of how she became the woman she is today.  Sadly she can't tell you these stories now.  Each time I see her she forgets more and more.  So I try to visit whenever I can so that she is reminded that her family loves her.

I got to visit some other ailing family members too.  It's hard being away from them when I know that any day could be the last.  So I'm very thankful that I've gotten to visit with them and tell them I love them.

I'm back in Fayetteville now.  We just had this cool event called Bikes Blues and BBQ.  basically a lot of Harleys and some great BBQ.  I think having all the bikers around freaked my roommates out.  They were on edge all weekend.  I love that I'm finally settled back into my home here.  Fayetteville really feels like home, and my friends feel like family.  So I've missed them just as much as my biological family.  And I love them just as much.  I've spent the past few days spending time with my roommates and our closer friends.  It has been.......surreal.  Like I can breath easier now that I'm settled back here.  being in a new place and around new people makes you conscious of everything you do and say, and how you act.  But since I've been home I have felt so comfortable showing my friends who I am now after all the changes I've had over the summer.  And we live together so easily that it feels like breathing.  

Breathing easy now.

"I'm Going Home Next Weekend"

"I'm going home next weekend."  

This is the phrase that I repeatedly said to myself this evening (I should say this morning. I'm a bit of a night owl).  I suddenly realized how close it all really is.  it's like I've been sitting at the train station all morning waiting for the train home.  Now I can hear it's whistle in the distance.  it says, "I'm coming! Hope you're ready to go."

But am I ready to go.  I've been here so long that I've gotten used to everything here.  All the things that were strange are normal. The things I used to think, "you'd never see this in the States" are what I want to have when I get home.  

"I'm going home next weekend."

It's like a record playing in my head. Over and over.  a constant reminder that it is going to end soon.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Sad to be leaving, so Happy to be going home, anxious about the long trip home, ready to sleep in my own bed, but really going to miss living at Choltida Place.  I think I epitomize the meaning of mixed emotions right now.   
But it's ok to have them, right?  


I can't wait to see yall when I get home. And I am really going to miss you guys that I'm leaving here.

Some things I've seen.

 The main market in ChiangMai.  Warrarot Market.  This is the view from the top floor looking down.  But all around there are 3 levels surrounding this area looking down into it.

 An adorable old man doing his part in making a fun umbrella.  Most of the people at the umbrella factory have spent a good part of their lives learning and perfecting how to make umbrellas

These are my two classes from our English course.  We have so much fun together.  Even if the power goes out and we have to go to Heidi's house to study. :-)

 My new favorite necklace to always remind me to pray for the people of Thailand and the stone on it is where Chiang Mai is.  So I especially remember them and hold them close to my heart. :-)

Count down Part 2

WHAT WILL I TAKE BACK WITH ME?

This one's a little harder.  You never notice how you've changed until you are back in an old setting.  So now I'm trying to remember what home is like.  What is different from here? What have I gotten used to here that was weird at one time?

For sure it will be weird to be surrounded by English. I think I've become more thoughtful.  Not understanding people only leaves you with your own thoughts. So I've been thinking a lot about everything and anything.  It spills over, though.  Even when people are speaking English around me I find myself thinking about everything they might be thinking or feeling?  What are they not saying?

Hmmmm.....What are some other things? I walk a lot of places here.  It feels good to walk and get some easy exercise.  When I get home I"ll prolly ride my bike any place I can.  I live close to everything except for work.  Plus, riding a bike or walking gives me time to let my mind concentrate.  Pray, observe, plan.  All things that usually don't happen in the car with the radio, or friends talking with me.   Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with people I care about, 
but there's always more time I could spend with the Lord.
 I think I'd also like to take back the 
attitude of spending time with people.  Relationships are important here.  A friend is someone you spend time with and talk with. It's not just someone you say hi to at school or church.  Most of them are lost here and they act more like the Body should than most Christians I have known in my life.  True, we all love each other, but I think we could show it more.  



Moreover, I will never lose my memories of this town.  
The sights and how they perplex me.  The smell of spices and foods as I go down the road.  The sounds of all the people talking and negotiating in the markets. the Sound of Thai believers worshiping with all their hearts; eyes closed so tight, hands raised, pouring out their heart to the One True God.  

Lord, What would you have take back with me.  I've observed the culture  I know the meanings of the things around me.  I've applied what I learned to my life.  Now, how do I bring it back home?  Oh Lord what is it that you desire from this.  Help me to trust you and follow your every leading when I have the opportunity to tell someone about my trip.  Please don't let me tell them about the things I did.  but rather what you have been doing that I got to be a part of.  You are moving in these people.  I pray that I will be faithful to you and witness your work in this place.  I want so badly for them to have what you offer.  You are Constant, unwavering, Love in it's truest form, just, and merciful to provide the payment you require for what we have done against you and continue to do.  Thank you my Lord. My savior.  I love you Daddy.

Let the Count Down Begin

I've decided to start a mini series of a count down until it's time to go back home.  I want to dedicate some thoughts to who and what I am going to miss when I leave. What I will take back with me (behaviors, habits, mannerisms, ect.).  And also what I still want to accomplish before I leave.  There's no worse feeling than looking back and wishing you had done something you decided not to do.

WHAT I'M GOING TO MISS
 I started to write about this in my journal the other night.  I wanted to see what all Chiang Mai has that I wish I had back home.  I think I'll just list them off as I think of them.

-Everyone is so friendly

-Relationships mean more than being on time

-Friendships are made over meals

-There's little to no crime.  I don't have to worry about someone breaking into my room or stealing the keys out of my bike when I accidentally forget to grab them. (which I've done a few times already)

-The traffic is very go-with-the-flow mentality. and motorbikes can go wherever they fit.

-Karaoke, Thai style. (in a room with just your friends.  No embarrassment in front of strangers)

-The willingness to spend time with each other whenever you have free time.  

-I've made some really good friends while I've been here that I'm REALLY going to miss A LOT

-I've finally learned to like spicy food, and I actually crave Thai food over ferang food.

-There's no English word to truly describe the feel of Chiang Mai.  It's a city, but each little road is like it's own small town, but it's so diverse you can't nail down a good description of the feel here.

-There are markets EVERYWHERE and the things in them are cheap. 

-I fill up my gas tank on my scooter for $1.75.....total.

-I'm at the foot of a mountain and within walking of a waterfall and lake, all of these elements are great for prayer and quiet times with the Lord.

-I feel like I've become a part of the community of the street I live on.  I eat at this little restaurant, Tim and Mim's, almost everyday.  They people at the 7/11 know me now.  The ladies who sell their fruit on the side of the road know me.  The church I go to is on my street, and so is the school where I'm teaching English.  Even the dogs at the place where I live know me.  The cleaning ladies in my building always stop and say hi to me.  

Yes there is a lot about Chiang Mai that I'm gonna miss a ton.  There are so many details within these things I've listed that would make this post way too long so I've just said the general things, but finish reading this knowing that I've made a life here for these short months and it has become so comfortable and homey feeling here.  

I'm gonna miss it all.

 

A Gorgeous Day in Chiang Mai

Isn't this an amazing little view? This is a small lake on Chiang Mai University's campus. can you imagine taking a break between class and seeing this?
It's coming up on the end of rainy season here and today was probably the nicest weather we've had in weeks!!! It was sunny with big clouds for shade. The sun was warm, but the air was cool. I sat at a picnic table next to this little lake forever praying and journaling and just taking it all in.


This is the lovely little walkway that led to the picnic tables. They aren't in this picture, but there were so many people sitting along the sides of the path painting pictures of the scene with the mountains reflecting off the water.

Yep. Today was a gorgeous day in Chiang Mai

You are Precious!

"To someone I'll never meet,
and everyone that I hope to meet,

I love you! Can you believe it? I love you.
I don't even know you and I want to show you
that you are precious to my Lord!
You are worth more than rubies."

-RW

Driving on the Left Side of the Road!!!

I rented a scooter to drive around for the rest of the time I'm here. It is so terrifying to drive it around Chiang Mai! They drive on the left side here! ahh!! Before I left the shop where I rented it, the lady looked at me (obviously seeing the fear in my eyes) and says, "Take good care of my bike, please." I giggled on the inside, but on the outside I said, "yes ma'am!''
I made it home with no problems, but then came time to go get dinner...........:-/
I had to talk myself into NOT walking to the restaurant.
but now I think I'm getting more and more confident on this little thing. it's pretty easy to drive, and the Lord has been blessing me with Green lights and not a lot of bad traffic. I think I drive careful enough not to get into any serious trouble. Lord Willing!
I guess if anything really note worthy happens, you'll know about it soon enough. haha

More Than a statistic, and More than just a story.

Right now it is 2:50 in the morning.
I was up late watching tv and this movie came on about these people who all experience this horrible traumatic event together. The movie just showed how horrible things can effect every part of who you are. Your Faith, your personality, how you simply interact with people. and of course the PTSD. After the movie was over I started thinking about my life. What it was like to experience a traumatic event (2/5/08 Tornado).
But my event was a force of nature.


What about those who's life is turned to a hell on earth
by other humans seeking to make a profit from them? What about the countless who are trapped in slavery, either sex related or not? How many little boys and girls are unknowingly sold into prostitution? Their caretakers thought they were promising these kids a better life in a new place, but they were deceived by wolves!
I decided I wanted to know a little more about it all. I stumbled across this blog that told about How these girls are not just statistics. They aren't even just a good story. They are real live people. Real young women who have finally gotten out. Who have finally broke their addiction. Or the real young women who were found then lost, or never found at all.
The writer of the blog listed off some examples of stories she knew. I never thought that reading about it would break my heart so bad. I read about how one girl's service provider let her go back into the brothel to get her cloths and the girl was never heard from again. Then the one about a girl who refuses to accept the fate of forced prostitution and ends up jumping out a window to her death.
When I read that last sentence I burst into tears.
all I can think about is what I could do to help.
Lord is this where you're leading me? All week I've been wrestling with the fact that I felt like I had no direction. I stared out a window for hours today waiting for my heart to break for the lostness of these people, but it didn't. I'm not saying that I'm going into a trafficking mission, but it was great to feel that feeling of "I care about this person so much it breaks my Heart!"
I can't imagine spending any part of my life as a missionary, unless I'm doing something that I am passionate about. Something that God will break my heart for.

Reminiscing

THIS IS OUR TEAM.
Left - right: Me (ruby), Carla, Roman, Heidi, and Kristi Roman and Kristi are leaving in a few days. I've really enjoyed hanging out with them this summer. One of my students innocently pointed out how lonely I'm going to be with out them here. My days that have been so full of planning and executing, are now filled with unknown.... Ideally I will be able to spend more time with students, but they are all very busy also. So I'm praying that God will fill my days with His productiveness.

As for my students. This is my 7:30 Advanced class. The power went out at Wisdom Tree (the school) so we moved class to Heidi's apt. it was so much fun. We just sat around a coffee table and learned English. When class was over, one student smiled, closed his book and said, "English class is over. Thai class begins!" I suddenly felt very nervous for some reason. I have found that learning Thai is very fun. (at least the little tiny bit I've learned) I'm now taking OFFICIAL thai language classes while I'm here. it's a lot of fun. I should probably be studying a little more. haha



Roman and Kristi are getting used to the states again.
We went to Hua Hin beach for a debrief time. It was so beautiful. I wish I had same pictures of it, but my camera is broken at the moment. I wonder which is better. being able to take a picture that speaks volumes about the subject, or being able to write in such a way that it paints a vivid picture and creates the desired emotions. Sadly, I'm not really proficient at either. But there was one evening when I was standing on the roof of our hotel (it's only 4 floors, then the roof) and the view caused me to want to write down everything I was seeing and feeling and thinking. It was like I finally found the moment where I could paint a picture. I wish I could feel like that all the time!

Pray They Understand

Do you ever just feel unqualified to do even the simplest things. I want so much to report some amazing story and encouragement about our time here. The truth is that I don't have an amazing story. I can offer you something to take joy in, though. By the measurements of what we would call amazing, it's just a passing mention of something. But in the measurements of what God says is Glorious, this is a step closer to Him by a lost girl. and that truly is amazing.
Fai.
Fai is a girl that we've met here. she isn't a Christians, but God is really working in her! She is so interested in the Bible and who God is and what He promises. I went to one of their Bible classes the other week and they were learning about Noah's Ark. At the end they were talking about God's promise not to destroy the world by water again. Fai said that since God has kept that promise, maybe He'll keep the promise to fix the relationship with us.
I can't even think of the right exclamation to express the joy I felt when I heard her say that.
Progress as we measure it is so much slower than in other parts of the world. But God is working in these people. Pray that they will see what it TRULY means to follow Christ. Pray that they don't make these empty commitments. It is so tragic to see someone finally believe in Christ and who He is, but they fall away from the faith because no one told them what they'd have to give up to follow Him. Pray that they will understand and genuinely want to lay down everything for Him!
What is our family, worldview, traditions, friends, or even our very understanding of life and death compared to the promise of eternal life with Christ. I don't mean to say that it's easy to give these things up. But it is, in fact, what Christ calls us to do. To die to ourselves and follow Him. "ourselves" is so much more than our body or our beliefs. It's everything we know and want and understand.

Oh Lord make them see! Lord teach us all how to follow you and love you. We are yours! bring me close to you!

Times you say "what in the world do I do now"

My roommate and I were walking home last night after a LONG day of preparing for our party tonight when we were met with a seemingly friendly dog. He was all smiles and playful jumps. Here in Thailand people don't really have pets. (some people do, but the strays greatly out number the pets) So there are a lot of dogs just walking along the streets hoping people will feed them. Being a Buddhist nation, the people are usually very peaceful and not aggressive. Then to add to all of this, they believe in reincarnation. so these dogs could be a "next life" of one of their loved ones. They feed them sometimes to try and earn merit by showing kindness for their next life.
Now, why did I tell you all of that mini background on a piece of Buddhism? The dog that was so friendly and playful became a little too playful. it started to playfully bite at our cloths and our bags. Then he decided to play tug of war with our cloths and bags. If I was back home I probably would have punted that dog across the parking lot. (a mild exaggeration, of course) But this is Thailand and I'm here to represent Christ, and to show the Thai people what Christians really look like. Kicking a dog that could, in their beliefs, be one of their ancestors is not the impression I want to leave in their minds.
This is where we asked the question, "What in the world to we do now?" I tried to gently push it away, pull it by it's collar, gently nudge it with my foot. All of these resulted in me getting bit and at one point the dog really latched onto my hand. No worries though. Just a bruise across the top. I was so thrilled to see a Thai guy coming to our rescue! he did some motion with his hand and the dog started to run away, but he's a persistent puppy. Once we all thought he was gone. He snuck up the stairs of my building (the stairs are outside) and latched onto my bag again. Luckily the Thai guy was still standing near. He came to our rescue once again, and my roommate and I ran to our room.
This all just goes to show that culture really does effect you over seas. It's hard to find the balance of what should I do and what can I do? It's so hard! Tune in next time for more stories from the front lines.